00:00 03/20/2017

Street food tastes a little bit better when someone uses their mutant powers to make it.

[via GIPHY]
3.1k reactions 541 comments


Raymond Cortez
I've seen the chef that taught me reach in and grab the chicken from the fryer like goddamn dude
Brandon Carey
julio, the unburnt, millionth of his name, breaker-outer of tacos
Chad Ernst
Dips his hand in cold water, with the short amount of time his hands are in contact with the hot grease it won't burn him, but still cool to watch
Evan Planas
Finally found flavor town...tastes like Pakistani knuckle hair.
Lauren Reany
You see his face when he looked at the camera "yeah, bitch, I just did that"
Terrance M Singh
I just love fried chicken coated in germs, human skin and newspaper ink.
Jonathone Wesley Goddin
O My, baseball glove for hands, rub the lotion on the skin.. haha
JP Guinard
1- those are air bubbles to make him look like a bad ass. 2- he's at 15000 feet altitude where shit boils at luke warm temperatures 3- shut up and take my money whatever the hell that is...
Rob Mcnicol
I think I would be more worried about all that ink from serving it on news paper that is gonna leach into your food...
Sergio Diaz
The way he looks at the camera makes me feel like I'm not a man. Sarah
Sphinx Chambers
I dont even care about why he did that way. I'm feeling some type of way cause I can't even put fries in pan without jumping away.
Jesse Andersen
That boiling water should have sanitized his hands enough for me.
Jesse Brown
Mmm delicious human skin served with finger nail fries is he cooking it in 10w30 as well served over todays newspaper perfect for toilet paper for the aftermath.
Andrew Barron
Alex Devin I wonder if buffalo should start doing this when they serve the food lol
Brandon T Firetag
Salt bae the great and his knife with sea salt (inside a freshly open cut).. Vs Iron handed grease not giving a mother fucker, in which his fingers cut just as smoothly as Salt bae the greats knife.. Who wins in a a fight to death? CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH RULES!!!!

Other newsfeed from Tosh.0

We're clearing the air with a real Breatharian. ALL NEW Tosh TOMORROW night at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

471 reactions 170 comments
Maria Jolina Igor Inga you in 20 years? πŸ˜‚
Mayte Rosebush Greg Sosa do you wanna be a breatharian with me ?
Janson Diaz Michele Casias is that your mom's ex? Hopefully he still has my dog.
Scott Hurd Yes I do! Deserve this, but can't breathe your own food like he can!
Jake Logan Ranberger Deven Marshall this guy looks like a homeless Casey nastat

CAPTION CHALLENGE: Doll Face Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

316 reactions 945 comments
Zarek Kayne My cock senses are tingling, someone needs their dick sucked immediately.
David Thompson The VA finally covered my sex change, now I know why they all called me pussy face
Mike Hensley I got my Kardashian BJ lip job this weekend. Who's first?
Tina Anglin If im lucky, the guys will think im a blow up doll. And put it in my mouth
Michael Worster I did not collude with Russia, Fake News. Russian women hot. True.

And everyone says football is the dangerous sport. [via Radass]

853 reactions 226 comments
Nathaniel Jamieson I wish toshy loved me as much as the snake loves checkered shirts and cargo shorts
Daniel Rose Rather deal with that harmless snake than a bunch of golfing A-holes...
Scott Lewis Somebody at the office had a hangover. I nominate the poster "worst employee of the month".
Jack Proulx it's not like he has 12 or so metal sticks in a bag that would dispatch this thing fairly quickly
Cory Joseph Avenali Nobody says football is the dangerous sport. Hockey is though.

Pro tip: Select the corn dog that the rat is sitting on because it will be the warmest. [via Imgur]

8.8k reactions 949 comments
Juarez Humberto Salma De Alba and Karla De Alba - Thats why I don't like corndogs anymore
Myles Pearl I thought u posted this when I 1st saw the pic Ricky Haines
Ruth Ann Ferg Bruce Moore Michael Pyle- corndogs, rats, birds? Idk but I think there's a joke in here somewhere.
Mike Roch Just paying his respects to his family that are now kolaches
Dale Rice It's only practicing for the lumberjack log rolling competition. 😜

The Demongorgon haunting my apartment better not make me lose my security deposit. [via Izismile Network]

1.9k reactions 154 comments
Phil Hujdic Ali Christopher basically what I was talking about the other day
Collin Lerner Ohhhh that's a light fixture.... looked like the craziest insect I've ever seen for a min.....
Tabitha Estrada I think this will happen with how frequently my neighbor above stomps everywhere
Donovan Snow The first set of the turn down for what music video. Second set had softer ceilings
John Harper It's at this moment that Todd realized he lived in a giants crotch lol

When you see that you’re about to plunge down a 100 ft. waterfall and you need to set your out of office email to auto respond. [via acidcow]

421 reactions 30 comments
Siddharth Bargate
James Deppner Jason
Jared Daddario Jenny Steinberg
Geoffrey Krash Clark Jason Jackson
Alex Gustin Is this you Tim M Stroman? Luke Gustin

And this is why I never leave home without a baggy of poisonous spiders. [via Izismile Network]

1.4k reactions 261 comments
Danielle Kent I would've kept tickling their feet and annoying them anyway I could. Like no bitch
Coley Veitenhans Jessie Char CNN is okay, but when tosh.0 covers you, you really made it.
Ian Johnston Again, this is what happens when you take Ann Coulters 3" of leg room...
Brent Guinan I'd tie the them up with the seat belts! Watch them struggle when it's time to go for a toilet break
Jacob Samuel Adams Ramsey Gregg Kas I'm glad this didn't happen when we had that open seat

β€œLeft foot, brown.” [via Imgur]

2.4k reactions 248 comments
G Rita Johnson I bet someone rubbed one off to this pic....
T.j. Hammond Looks like he's blowing the smoke from a recently fired gun barrel. Might be more accurate than I think.
Joe Cuevas Hahaha for the longest time i thouht he was trying to lick the butt
Gabe Tsagakis Is that dude wearing clown shoes? Is that dude a clown? Who plays that game with a clown?
Derrick Gresley Dudes looking at her like "you can shit on me all day".

Bout to make it rain senior citizen discount coupons on Pop Pop. [via theCHIVE]

404 reactions 60 comments
Jacob Foster Looks like Citizen Kane found a cane to stand on
Tom Grabek Eva. Is this dad?
Yasmin Palomino Make $450 extra dollars taking instant paid surveys ➠ #MoneyYouSurvey
Bill Freed Christopher Hyre this will be you in 35 years
Janeth De La Cruz Khellie San Gabriel Decena What yo grandpa doing at the club πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

CAPTION CHALLENGE WINNER: When the fish aint a bitin', grab your bowl and start lightin'. We picked the caption above from a comment left by Jason Bequette Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 1pm for another edition.

290 reactions 72 comments
Dan Simpsons Blunt The Gorton's Fisherman
Bryce Davies Lewii Michael give the man a burn lad
Aaron Budzinski That you Patrick Gaughan?
Gene Cody Smoke on the water Smoked fish or fried
Corey Lee That's not even a bowl..

If it does, double my insurance and count me in.

459 reactions 33 comments
Corey Tyler McCabe Jesse Lane
Dave Spokes Joshua Mcloughlin
Shane Ian Hendriks Tonisha Marques
Jordan Brong Dylon Romano Jacob Stanley Josh Hood
Robert Montoro Dalton Frost Aaron Synyster Mier Jon Cromley

Calm down, he's dishwasher safe. #WTFriday

4.8k reactions 5277 comments
Carla Perez Karina Karina this is what I'm gonna be to do since eric is asleep
Chelsea Hickson RJ Robertson if you see this as your future, I'm jumping ship now πŸ˜‚
Zack Brotz Elizabeth Why is this you
Ashley Klier Danielle because I figured you'd either laugh from this or probably hate me after for a little bit, lmao 😘
Matt Marshak Jack Czaja wtf? Did you let tosh put cameras in your apartment again??!

You never want to be at the bottom of a quaked tub. Watch the full clip here:

257 reactions 84 comments
Benjamin Ripp Ummmm, why wasn't I invited? 🀣
Alessandro Buono Well, at the bottom at least one side is "safe" πŸ˜‚
Kevin Hardy Just have the common courtesy to give him a reach around...
Darren Rudy Unless you're Daniel Tosh
Ghong Yang Bbbbut, sometimes you want extra sausage with your buns.

Legally, you're allowed to completely destroy this machine if this happens. [via Radass]

1.5k reactions 134 comments
Sam Savagemister Delamar I only had enough money for one item so it'll be a Pull n Pray, because I GOTSTA get my peanut butter cups!
John Woods Pretty sure you just ignore it and if you have a baby you force it into the machine.
David Welliver The empty slot would be good for those little white-powder/little comb kits.
David Welliver Nice....but at my age I'll stick with the Gobbstoppers.
Karlo Cedeno When your kid asks you where do babies come from and you show them this picture

The first time we got together I spent 20 minutes trying to unhook that thing. #TattooOfTheWeek

5.9k reactions 1226 comments
Tammi Baltin Why is the phone cord down his pants? Charging????
JoNathan Stephens Roger Stimer I never knew you had so many tattoos lol
Matthew Hooper Dallas Foreman the tattoos discussion as we were leaving work today...
Chelsea Christina Holmes Giselle Ashook you should get your tits tattooed like this πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚β€
John Gorrod James Andrew I didn't know you had that chest tat done

I hate to say it, I think she looks better with the fake eye.

728 reactions 87 comments
Ken Spalla The one true way to keep from getting buzz in your eye
Daniel Nightengale Probably some weird fetish porn shit. #crazyassasians
Eric Cobb Dumbass
Jayhuncho Jroc James Danzo would've had it out in a blink of any eye 🀣🀣🀣
Joe Szathmary Nic Brown #freethebrowneye

He promised his girl he'd cut back to one a day. [via Izismile Network]

2.2k reactions 261 comments
Ruben Gutierrez Jorge Un Churrazo πŸ˜‚
Sydney Mullins Val Luna how I am able to justify my behaviors!
MacKenzie Hanson Daniel thought of you when I saw this 😁
Jonathan Padilla Evelyn PeΓ±aloza only one a day
Aimee Schaefer Beth Hume Ragland, maybe this was my guy in the ER?!

When you name a kid Presley, you give him a reputation to live up to. [via acidcow]

2.7k reactions 243 comments
Mckinzie Cottle Never heard of this kid. Yet Presley is a better girls name then a boys name anyways.
Stan Little He can't even get to first base πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Shawn Rine Well it looks like he is about to strike out. So he is doing about as well as j do with the ladies
Jessica Jewell Jake is this Anthony in a few years? πŸ˜‚
Victor Sax Abou what outfit he should wear haaaaa... cus hes gay!!! Get it!!! Lol he is gayyy!!!!

Congrats to Brandon Bowen for creating last night's Viewer Video.

Brandon Bowen
Brandon Bowen

I'm just a kid wanting to make awesome content for people to enjoy! Email: [email protected]

247 reactions 28 comments
Danielle Miller Bryon Miller
Fredia Hutchinson Shannon Bowen
Jesse Lively Phil Nicholson
Christopher Tedesco Brandon Bowen
Jordan Miller Brandon Bowen ΒΏ?

Missed last night's episode? Watch it here:

96 reactions 14 comments
Panayoti Mentzelopoulos were you workin the late shift again apu?
Yasmin Palomino Get a entire year of Netflix content! β˜› #NetflixForYear
Artur Luiz i will not sign in to watch
Aaron E Robinson Didn't miss much...
Justin Fendley Tosh is fckn clown shoes πŸ˜„

If you've ever rented a moving truck, you're a chump. [via acidcow]

2.2k reactions 442 comments
Wesley Waller I alway knew they'd figure out some use for Mopars... He's probably parked in front of an auto parts store!
Jim Cully Not a challenge for the Challenger. 🀘
Robert Nolan I'll bet that fell faster than Daniel's testosterone count when he turned 40.
Jennifer Ihrig Dude is driving a challenger. He really couldn't afford a u haul? He just ruined that beauty!!
Alejandro Soriano Jr. When your girlfriend , who is your cousin who lives at home with your auntie, kicks you out for cheating on her with your sister

How do we get our show made into a movie so that one day we can get it made back into a show? New Tosh in twenty.

367 reactions 62 comments
Oscar Ramirez Mission: Impossible?
Jason Stefani Check please!
Jason Stefani Quake the cube. Quake the cube. Quake the CUUUUUBE!
Michael Vederman whoa, yer still a thing?!
Jason Stefani Larry Enticer=A totally fucking awesome Canuck!

Hopefully this whole healthcare debacle doesn't decrease the number of horrible injury videos posted online. New Tosh TONIGHT at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

386 reactions 20 comments
Chris Medendorp More puke videos
Yasmin Palomino Just Get 1 year of Netflix ! ➼ #NetflixOneYear
Sebastian Bash Amen
Stephen Spencer Suck it
Justin Fendley Tosh is fckn clown shoes πŸ˜„

We're going to show you what the hype is all a-boot with this Canadian snowmobiler. NEW Tosh TONIGHT at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

6.9k reactions 3512 comments
Josh Novak Cisco Ayala doesnt he look like the dude with the messed up back at ups?
Adam Stillwell Justin I'm not sure why but this guy reminded me of you.
Curtis Klassen Brandon Dick the enticer is only 21??
BΓ€nzu Leshinski Marcus Stadler Reto Schindler dr reto wenn Γ€r 1 jahr lenger in canada wΓ€r blibΓ€ πŸ˜‚πŸ™ŒπŸ½
Mike Mullins Ilene Jesso-Alexander the denim daredevil made US talkshow

Sure, you can pay a lot of money for a self-driving Tesla or you can just ask Jesus to take the wheel. [via Imgur]

5.1k reactions 578 comments
Carrie Gallagher Lacey Espinoza... Thinking about you and all our incredible memories. Jesus took our wheel, remember?? 😍
Larry Lee Moniz Yeah, tell that to the judge when you get a ticket for running over 12 people while talking to Jesus on your smart phone.
Chad Raffield I wonder if a bumper sticker can raise or lower an insurance premium.
Bryan Camp Given Christianity's history, what could possibly go wrong?
Lisa Do You need to take this off your car or the police will catch you πŸ˜‚ Kyla Tuot

It's the one thing you never want to shower without. [via Izismile Network]

3.2k reactions 464 comments
Alex Simms I feel like "Tits or GTFO" would have been better here.
Alexander Turner I'm actually kinda surprised it wasn't another picture that just said "Send nudes"
Thundergun Duke When you promise your friends beer if they help you tile the floor, provide a 6-pack, and don't help.
Justin Long Send nudes would have been more epic so when you take a Selfie in the bathroom your sly af
Jason Quay I want to spend $3000 remodeling my bathroom but make sure I don't see a penny of it in home equity.

Bonus: It can double as a toilet. Who would know? [via Uberhumor]

1.1k reactions 111 comments
Vera Karavchuk It could be one of those porn bikes..
Alex Foster Susannah Monnik does this look like me lol
Candace Albert-Mayer Jon Starr needs this in his work office
Ed Leary Probably a temp!--- I thought the economy was getting a little better🀜🏻
Andrei Tadrith Matryshka Ana Scontras I want my office to be like this

CAPTION CHALLENGE: Fisherman Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

51 reactions 888 comments
Brad Fagan back when i served in the in the beatles yellow mellow ... I became a captain of the O'Charlie. lets kick back & smoke some FINE ASS MotherTruckin cigars
Debora Jo Spurlock During Manitou Springs flash flood season it is recommended to use a dinghy to row yourself to the recreational marijuana stores. Please have correct change.
Mike Darrente When Santa admits that he has always admired Popeye the sailor and decides to be all about that life.
Evelyn Bailey So nobody is gonna comment on the pimp ass sailor chain... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Or the purple turtleneck!?! #snoopsrealdad
Ryan Christopher Recker "Only way to stomach those nasty fish cocks, can't believe all the trailer trash that actually eats this shit without being stoned out of their rainhat."

You know what would make Wonder Woman more believable? If she were a big, strong man. [via Izismile Network]

1.4k reactions 758 comments
Morgan Falter John Alford the guy in the front on right side kinda reminds me of you lol!!!!! πŸ˜‚
Randy Dospel Kameron French where did you get that outfit? I can't find them anywhere.
Sabrina Gomez Matt the next 4th πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Victor X. Liceaga 4th from the right....did Jonnathan Wilson steal Kristine Wilson 's costume? Lol Joshua Bulls Glen Holder Chris Brucato Tyler Clark Gregory Allen πŸ˜‚
Ed Carl Mindy Vega. Lmao. This made me think of u. Figured u get a kick out of it. :'D

Doug is tripping so hard he thinks he’s holding a light saber and being trained by Yoda. [via theCHIVE]

1.9k reactions 297 comments
Jeffrey Padilla Oh their is going to be some f'ing but not with that dildo.
Federico Francucci Last time I tryied an aligator blow me it didnt go very well. Thats why always take a vibrator to test and see what king of blowing gator you are dealing with
Timothy Allen Smith My mama my mama my mama sssaaid alligators got all them teeth and no toothbrush
William Patrick Rabel So is he going to beat the gator with a dildo?.
Walter Hesse He ought to go on and put it where he wants it cause he's going to get fucked
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