00:00 03/20/2017

Street food tastes a little bit better when someone uses their mutant powers to make it.

[via GIPHY]
3.1k reactions 541 comments


Raymond Cortez
I've seen the chef that taught me reach in and grab the chicken from the fryer like goddamn dude
Brandon Carey
julio, the unburnt, millionth of his name, breaker-outer of tacos
Chad Ernst
Dips his hand in cold water, with the short amount of time his hands are in contact with the hot grease it won't burn him, but still cool to watch
Evan Planas
Finally found flavor town...tastes like Pakistani knuckle hair.
Lauren Reany
You see his face when he looked at the camera "yeah, bitch, I just did that"
Terrance M Singh
I just love fried chicken coated in germs, human skin and newspaper ink.
Jonathone Wesley Goddin
O My, baseball glove for hands, rub the lotion on the skin.. haha
JP Guinard
1- those are air bubbles to make him look like a bad ass. 2- he's at 15000 feet altitude where shit boils at luke warm temperatures 3- shut up and take my money whatever the hell that is...
Rob Mcnicol
I think I would be more worried about all that ink from serving it on news paper that is gonna leach into your food...
Sergio Diaz
The way he looks at the camera makes me feel like I'm not a man. Sarah
Sphinx Chambers
I dont even care about why he did that way. I'm feeling some type of way cause I can't even put fries in pan without jumping away.
Jesse Andersen
That boiling water should have sanitized his hands enough for me.
Jesse Brown
Mmm delicious human skin served with finger nail fries is he cooking it in 10w30 as well served over todays newspaper perfect for toilet paper for the aftermath.
Andrew Barron
Alex Devin I wonder if buffalo should start doing this when they serve the food lol
Brandon T Firetag
Salt bae the great and his knife with sea salt (inside a freshly open cut).. Vs Iron handed grease not giving a mother fucker, in which his fingers cut just as smoothly as Salt bae the greats knife.. Who wins in a a fight to death? CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH RULES!!!!

Other newsfeed from Tosh.0

Coming soon to a television near you. Final Tosh.0 of the season tomorrow at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

1.3k reactions 491 comments
Rob Stewart That is all the hallmark Christmas movies in 2 min
Chelsea McGarry god damn hallmark movies suck! spot ON, Tosh!
Anna Burgett Lol pretty much every Hallmark holiday movie 🎄👌🏻😂😂😂😂
Ashley Morris Suzy Coronel, this is what I've been feeling like these past couple of weeks. Lol
Kevin Ballantine I feel like watching this commercial was the equivalent to dropping acid.

CAPTION CHALLENGE: Finger Lickin’ Good! Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

218 reactions 793 comments
Del Morris "I had to jam a finger in it, because I wanted it to be finger licking good. Too bad this fillet of a$$hole doesn't cut it."
Joe Schneider Thank you kindly for this post coitus steak Mr. Weinstein I would LOVE to be in your movie. Btw I can still taste you on my fingers
Eric Tuttle Daniel Tosh enjoys a batch of wings so he can brown out on the smell of vomit and fried spices that we all try to replicate but seldomly enjoy at this time of the thanksgiving season.
George Fraser Tosh always sucking on that dick; when he wakes up sucking on that dick, when he brushes his teeth, sucking on that dick, when he's sucking on that dick...... sucking on that dick. Here's him enjoying a lovley meal with his loving family.....666
Derek Manchester To Daniel, these chicken wings taste almost as good as his favorite dark meat, penis. His record is 60 in one sore but memorable weekend.

“Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle.” [via acidcow]

5.5k reactions 1168 comments
Tyson Herriman May wanna put on some clean clothes lol
Michael Burris Odd shirt to wear to a family reunion.
Chloe French He wants to fist someone's wife?
Bob Bennett Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel on the next puzzle shirt he wears... "I got my _ss kicked".
Jake Stigers My wife won’t even put in her teeth until he fixes his punctuation.


2.2k reactions 424 comments
John Wall Looks like he is ready to fight the final boss on a United Airlines flight.
Jared Duran "Try and tell me I have to give up my seat"
Delbert Knisley He is going to trade places with a white guy in NYC.
Jake Jonas No terrorist is kicking a ball past this guys goal line
Osceola A Nick It's probably autism so don't be too Savage here gentleman.

“These nuggets will never decompose and neither will my love for you.” [via The Clearly Dope]

13.9k reactions 6655 comments
Iris Rekow Autumn McCabe tell dylon to re-propose to you like this or else you won’t marry him. This is better and more romantic than Hawaii
Emily Winslett I would so marry someone who proposed with nuggets... As long as I don't have to share the proposal ones, he can have the left overs
Karla McFarland Daisy Narda why couldn’t Gav propose this way??? It’s like he doesn’t even know me!!! 😂 😂 😂
James Whitus Sr Later that night he learned how freaky she was, she had him dipping them nuggets in places Gary Busey hasn't thought of yet.
Kevin Roberts Nuggets that won't decompose? If you not being sarcastic could you be so kind as to tell us the brand so we can avoid them indefinitely?

Welp, there goes all the fun her left leg was having outside the perimeter of the home. [via Izismile Network]

2.2k reactions 281 comments
Jason Hektic Jasmin I'm still laughing at the N.W.A. Niggas With Aliens Lofl ROTFLOFL #Brazy #Krazy #HustlerBaby #CheckIn 🖕🍼;-)
Carrie Carbone Smith She lives in Florida, right? We have only the finest citizens.
Mike Solie Saw this on Let Go app. Wonder if ankle monitor is included in shoe sale?
Cortny Muller One is location other is alcohol dummies.
Matthew Deal This is what "double secret probation" looks like.

This is what happens when DC and Marvel get drunk at a hotel bar and have a one-night stand. [via Imgur]

7.0k reactions 1404 comments
Luis Terrazas Ah Super Wonder Incredible Bat Hulk Spider Flash Man! Love it’s comics lol
Aaron Zwahr Jonathan Soliz this is what it felt like when you gave me a door dec with DC and Marvel on it.
John Grant II The wonder hulk bat frog man
Jeff Tait At least is wasn't a Hulk crotch.
Kelly Arena Dawn I told you it’s all the same thing. Proof.

The state of Florida has their float ready for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. [via acidcow]

998 reactions 178 comments
Hayley Mishell Jones Allison Wood looks very similar to Alabama's tho
John Blade Wow, such a nice style BMW ruined by idiots
Mike Westfall I didn't know Massengill had a float in the parade.
Curtis Combs 🤔 it looks like they are going places
Emm DBacha Daniel, I can’t see you in there 😂😂😂

CAPTION CHALLENGE WINNER: Riding the pine you're doing it wrong. We picked the caption above from a comment left by Jonathan Roberson Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 1pm for another edition.

72 reactions 48 comments
Tim Schlueter You still use pine tar... Pssh
Lee Rodd Ah shit I missed.
Coco D. Stabs Well tha S not gonna fit!
Keller Reeves Jerky Rubbinson
Justin Santoro "Skid mark" brand pine tar

Did you know "queso" actually means "romance" in Spanish? #WTFriday

233 reactions 82 comments
Jay Med No.. Romancé is romance
Stephen Lyle It's 150 for a quarter and 8 to pick cotton.. I want you to say something.. Even if it's depressing and not funny.. You'll know where your meth comes from..
Michael Helms So She Obviously Knows RickyGetzInYa! I Think That's Spanish For Taking A Cosby...
Brian Nunez Shut up Tosh....shut the fuck up man
Dan Vu It doesn,t take that long to thank you, for a kiss

Great way to get some fresh blood without having to pay out unemployment.

315 reactions 14 comments
Stian Haukås Kenny Nordvoll 😂🤣
Nathan Wilburn Danny Pitts
Matthew McCoy Damian MIller
Matt Bradshaw Nathan Donohue give this a whirl
Greg Larsen Ha ha,you need 'em.

Everything you've ever wanted to know about Daniel Tosh. And a few things you didn't.

751 reactions 36 comments
Todd Henderson Shelly Eaton Mike McKenzie
Kevin Shelton Aubrey Unternahrer-Shelton
Randy Serratos Jd Russell Jason Serratos
Michael Cooper Ari Smith
Alex McIlduff Rhys Metalcore Mcphedran

Family is everything... ...that sucks about the holidays.

321 reactions 69 comments
Jason Hardek "Donald Trump." "Pickles." 😂😂
Shay Habibi Bobby, it’s your girl. 🥒
Dora Mendoza Ah too funny ! Thanksgiving at Salinas shit like this happens at the Salinas table LOl! minus the microphones !
Randee Michele Heather this was hilarious 😂
Michael Clark OMFG Mimi, Elizabeth, Britney... watch the full clip, I'm dying!!! XD

Watch the full episode here:

46 reactions 9 comments
John William Ribs
Gerald Omar Dow Tosh eating a dick. How cute.
Adam Hammon Awesome-Awesome Y'all
Irene Emenheiser The dogs ❤🐶😂
Mitch Forster You're slacking on your material. Get your shit together

I'm thankful for a brand NEW 'sode of Tosh. TONIGHT at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

6.5k reactions 1569 comments
Liisa Lepmets I have not even turned the volume up yet and i already want to fucking murder this bitch!!!
Kortney Mork This lady is disgusting. Chew like an adult for crying out loud.
Heather Dawn Wheat I would never knock this Sister's hustle, in fact I'm a bit jealous of it, but I'm just not down to watch & listen to someone eat...
Sarah Mielke Rick lmao we've been talking about these videos lately... of course it's on tosh.0 now
Sarah Lathrop Emily Koval Carrie Alexander this is me. She knows what's up- Classen Kosher dill pickles, always chilled never heated

I like to shop here on Tuesdays when there’s a death metal band performing in the meat department. [via Izismile Network]

1.8k reactions 236 comments
Patrick O'Brien To be fair they were supposed to play at the school talent show but Roy Moore just wouldn’t leave
Daniel Kuhlmeier when the store manager has a kid with “talent” you’ll find me at Kroger’s across the street!
Desirae Winn That band looks really hardcore
Stuart Fillips "Here at Whole Foods, the only walls we build are walls of death."
Kristjan Tomasson Denis Devon Katuma Ndidi a whole new 'market' for SM to shred 😁

Grimace has so much extra skin after dropping all of that weight. [via Uberhumor]

1.2k reactions 262 comments
Robert Gonzalez This what happens when you don't circumcise
Michelle Suzzane Damn straight I'll wear that to bed
Alex Fred Fawbush Ashley I found you some winter attire
Adam Richwine Jokes aside, that looks warm as fuck.
William Delamain ... Is that the flying purlpe person eater.

Don't you just love fall?

2.0k reactions 355 comments
Cooper Vegas Best player the dodgers have right now 😂😂😂😂
Chris Long Only a dodger would suck on a bat
Scott Smith I figured Daniel as more of a catcher.
Christina Ursula Adams Zachary puigs really taking that loss hard
Lourdes Garcia U r so funny. Yes, baseball is odd and great!

CAPTION CHALLENGE: Batter Up! Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

65 reactions 982 comments
Lindsey Reninger This is the Dodgers envisioning how big their dicks are. In reality, when fully erect, no bigger than a baseball itself
Trevor W Heasley And daniel tosh prints another poster for above his bed.. It will look so nice next to the Hasselhoff.
Joel Bergman Daniel was hired as bat boy for the Dodgers however it was discovered he had Talent for finding Slivers in the bats by using his unique ball sack technique.
William Hathaway When the game you've devoted your life to mastering is as boring as baseball, you owe yourself a good 'ol reach around.
Roberto Rayo The big bang theory: 1:you handle that piece of wood between your legs really well. 2: you mean my bat 1: no I mean the crude double ontanundre.

Welp, I’m suddenly looking forward to Monday now. [via Izismile Network]

6.4k reactions 585 comments
Ben Brouillette Vision Lanes in Westland, Michigan.
Troy Hall ....but can the pins be used in play?
Derek Nowlin Payton Plus Monday is payday, and my day off! I'm fucking winning.
Kyleigh Beck Carol Ann stay away from this bowling alley 😂😂😂😂
Maya Strunk Theus That's some funny Shit right there!

Some see a tree vagina. I see a portal to the Upside Down. [via Radass]

4.5k reactions 643 comments
Manny Antonio Stephanie remember that one time to eagle rock 😂
Curtis Gresham Looks like a Hatchet wound to me fellas, Shock Biggs
John Masters It's actually a wooden ham sammich...
Nick Hannum Amanda Ingerson what did I️ say, the upside down portal was a demons vagina. Even tosh thought so
Jason McGowan Stay away from the sap, its sticky

The sweetest part of the ceremony was when they joined hands and scratched off a lottery ticket together. [via Reddit]

1.8k reactions 281 comments
Robert Reed I believe this was at Munch n Pump in Poplar Bluff, Missouri
Kalina Rodgers The sad part is....this is the town I live in! 😱 #Missouri #munchNpump
Chelsea Hickson RJ Robertson hahaha I expect to see pictures like this from a certain someone 😂
Glen Hawkins from the three stooges...hold hands you lovebirds
Phil Ryan Was the King of Zamunda there?

Nice to see that there are true romantics still out there. [via Izismile Network]

14.2k reactions 5227 comments
Kat Norman Chris Fraser "What you think sex is before your parents give you "the talk"
Ricky Fuentes And they say chivalry is dead
Albert Alicea Is that a new R Kelly single?
Tim Davis Pee is stored in the balls
Anthony Yachanin Britney Spears really let herself go.

And he never left his room again. [via Imgur]

9.5k reactions 547 comments
William Raimer The son scored a lover, the mom got a babysitter
Tim Cameron Barbies hair seems really stiff lately!
Jeff Mahoney 😊 HaHa... Yep.! He is going to have jizz all over that thing.. Lol.
Adam Mertz Mike we found Brian's so called date for tomorrow
EL Penetrator Strange composite bow I have ever seen! Must be new camo!

This should be a violation that immediately gets your driver’s license revoked. [via Izismile Network]

5.1k reactions 559 comments
Steve J Callender I just truely laughed out loud.
Fred McCullough The more expensive bulkier version of fix a flat
Robert Kreegier It bears repeating: this is a CO2 tank for tires that looks like an extinguisher.
Ross M. Cipriano Yep tosh, jokes on you. That’s not a fire extinguisher. Don’t you feel stupid now?
Andrew Johnson I guess nobody has ever seen an extinguisher turned into an air tank?

CAPTION CHALLENGE WINNER: Hair holding best friend sold separately. We picked the caption above from a comment left by Dustin Allen Warrington Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 1pm for another edition.

128 reactions 76 comments
Cody Williams That wasn't much of a joke
Danielle Bothwell Kelly Ahkiam, Sue Banovic Brassard Marc should probably install this in his truck ..😂
Ryan Vanscoy Michael Dunmire why didn’t we ever think of this for 451B
Daionte Smith is this the same bathroom that was used in chapelles show
Denis B Gormally they have the Squatty Potty now they have a Pukey Potty

She just realized it’s Friday. #WTFriday #HelloWeekend

35 reactions 9 comments
Panda Mendoza Marisabel Hernandez
Brett Williams Why the blank look?
Karen O'Keefe Huh?
Larry Pageau She gives good forehead
Dan Turner Yes dumb and waste of my FB feed.bout to unlike Tosh.

You know what they say: Happy Ho, Happy Life. [via Radass]

1.4k reactions 163 comments
Bebe Barbyy Ivette Martinez look at your sign haha
Emma Hallett Taylor Plank if we had a sugar daddy 😂😂😂😂😂
Wayne Marsala Melina trumps happy birthday sign.
Mark Brown You guys know it's hoe right =X
Melanie Dalgliesh Ho ho ho

Watch this week's full episode here:

34 reactions 6 comments
Jesse Shoemaker Dammit stingray!!!! 😂😂😂
Brandon Felice second
Brandon Felice first
Sharon Gordon So funny! That’s where I went to school and lived for many years. Hail State!
Werner Münchow I watch your show from Brazil, congratulations, very funny.

It's never too early to start your nest egg.

264 reactions 21 comments
Jordan Branscombe
Diana Beursken Cody Weston
Kassandra Rozalea Ebert Jovani Oliva
Nick Buccini Gabriel Buccini
Alan Bevard Chris Alexander Colin Bernier Justin Young
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