Last updated: 01:42 09/19/2017

Poor guy is probably on the way up the stairs to find his wife cheating on him with his best friend. [via acidcow]

627 reactions 140 comments
Jason Knight It was all that banging that brought the deck down in the first place Tosh.
Vince Patrone this happened here in ohio news was all over it people were on the damn balcony
Mickey Bivens Kimberly Beyleveld Oh fuck! This is the thing we saw in hilliard after that storm!
Cory Pack That's down the street from my house lol I see it every morning on the way to work
Juan Martinez I guess the porch called shotgun

Get ready to drop your pants. The Fall Premiere of Tosh.0 is TOMORROW at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

367 reactions 56 comments
April Robertson hahahahahza
April Robertson omg
Madison Stalker Zach Zakar yes. Just yes.
Muhammad Bilal Islam Too gay
Michael Liebau Travis Jackson this Vinnie and Frank 😂😂😂😂

CAPTION CHALLENGE: Spin Class Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

205 reactions 291 comments
Jake Wade Ladies, always place you thumb and index finger firmly around the shaft
John J Simicic I see some of you ladies are using both hands. Now we know who the real sluts are.
Lindsay Herrell Watch your form! Don't put pressure on your wrists! I expect you all to have wrist gaurds before next class!
Zach Turner "Alright ladies get those RPMs up, let's see what those fingers can do. Remember you spin some, you lose some"
Jason Nagel Linda!!! Dammit Linda, I told you once already, STOP trying to deap throat it! That class was last week....

He hasn't pooped inside in months. [via Uberhumor]

568 reactions 82 comments
Johnathan Sams Well if he runs her fat ass cant catch him
David Lederhouse That pic is from Buffalo...Coca Cola Field. LOL
Cody Wilkins Looks like Coke a cola field in Buffalo lol
Austin Hollon The people who think this is cruel are probably the same people who say spanking a child is abuse.
Hannah Hanks If that one kid was on a leash..poor Harambe ♡

I’ve read the fine print and I’m prepared to accept the consequences. [via The Clearly Dope]

1.9k reactions 206 comments
Steven Barron QuikTrip pizza equals 4 hours on the toilet 💩 💩 💩.
Troy Bennett Is there any other kind of diarrhea?
Scott Rupp Photoshopped for sure, but that doesnt make it untrue
Kristin Dennis May as well say guaranteed to cause urgent diarrhea I'm still gonna eat it 😂
Kristin Dennis At work to my boss - I'm sorry boss I gotta go it's urgent The boss- and what's so urgent you have to leave? Me- Diarrhea sir.

That's the same condition I have on all of my online dating profiles. [via Izismile Network]

2.0k reactions 152 comments
Tori Seay Kevin Rohrer found you a new job
Robert Brennan Or crystal meth
Todd Woolridge Good luck
James Davis Can you give me some money?
Chris Cuaron #cracklivesmatter.

Nothing beats the taste of Kryptonian filtered H20. [via theCHIVE]

11.1k reactions 981 comments
Drew Archuleta No fear citizen, i superman shall hydrate you.
Lauren Reany Lol Adela Camille if only it were Henry Caville
Shannon Biggers Buddy Keith's favorite watering hole lol
Dan Van Nathan William Adam When Superman says "Suck it!" You better fucking suck it.
Manny Tee Jordan Kennedy i wonder if the poor dude ever recovered before realising he went down on Superman lol

I’m going to challenge this guy to a wrestling match inside the ball pit cage, for the belt. [via Reddit]

5.0k reactions 646 comments
Richard Dear Thanks but no thanks Timmy
Ozzie Florez Tony Briones can you see phil wearing this.? Kinda looks like him
Corrine Thompson Dean Hunt you should get this belt buckle. Hahaha 😂
Meg Kelly Joe Pena when did your governor start working at Walmart?!? 😂😂😂
Jered Stanley Find you someone who's committed to you like this person is to Walmart

Paid for by the law firm of Zero & F*cks. [via Radass]

18.3k reactions 1642 comments
Connor Steck Kieran Kasey Now THIS is an advertising campaign I can get behind.
Christian Arian Contreras Nick Peter and Justin irl when they saw me on crutches and a brace
Jarryd Hawley Joe, after your softball injury
Joseph Kenneth Oh good the blocked out the i now I have no clue what it says .
Adam Marshall Them 2 are the last I'd vote for

This is the only water park that I can find open after Labor Day. [via Izismile Network]

2.9k reactions 276 comments
Ian Sill Meanwhile in ANY trailer park in Tennessee...
Garrett Smith Lexi Miller when you tell me you want to go to a water park lol
JP Oliver Tryin ta wash that meth residue off.
Eric Logan I heard you were into " water sports"
Arron Wade Welborn Cig in one hand and hose in the other. This has got to be the south

CAPTION CHALLENGE WINNER: It's hard shooting par when you have two balls in the rough. We picked the caption above from a comment left by Jeremy Hervieux Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 1pm for another edition.

96 reactions 40 comments
Jay Brooks Balls!
Jim Leitner Oh there's my balls
Mark Rush first!!
Steve Guberski Which hole are you teeing
Mike Pryor Dicks off for Harambe

Go see what your boss is eating right now. You know what to do.

1.4k reactions 306 comments
Danielle Wesson I can't believe hes still doing this shit...
Johnathan Sams Well daniel does like his salad tossed 😂😂
Chase Torrance Jordan you need to start this at champion.
Adam Albarado Bert Barras, do this to the guys on a boat next time they worry about weigh ins
Kelly Collum Isn't this just Daniel walking around tossing salad?

Can you pull up? I need to get into the basement. [via Imgur]

339 reactions 55 comments
Charlie Hussles AB Biz mobile observation deck?
Evan Leon Borden Redneck rig it
Scott Thomas On a cartooon!
Seth Leu He stepped his picnic date game up
AB Biz Sweet I could see uses for that

Have you ever been number one at anything in your life? Didn't think so. Ride our coattails, September 19th on Comedy Central.

222 reactions 10 comments
James Davis
JT Thompson Jason
Nay Kay Scott Brandon
Bill White Im always number 2! #poopFTW bitch!!
James Davis Can you give me some money?

My refrigerator's crisper drawer can get pretty chilly at night. [via Izismile Network]

1.5k reactions 124 comments
Jonathan Cain Carrot bottom.
Damien Cole When did you get those shoes Jenn Loud??
Charley Stenbro Hey girl
Dylan Syganiec Melody Zhu see why I love carrots so much
Khloey Krajewski Shannon Toski we couldve done this

The baker's wife was up all night making these. [via Telezcope]

426 reactions 127 comments
Brian Deez Young For the love of god dont get the Boston Creme.!
Jon Wiitanen No wonder. Jimmie's been all over that and blew the hole out.
Michael Hegedus This is Timea Vajna donuts shop in Budapest.
Heidi Vanslambrouck Travis A Mines those yeast rings looks good dough.
Carrington Jade Daniel Yellow glazed and hard to swallow made with the loving hands of a bakers wife

Wear your defeat proudly, boys.

48 reactions 6 comments
Garebear Thebear I will eat you
Richardson Daniel lost your virginity to a girl?
Yetchlo Bi Make that face again and you really do look like that pretty in pink
Erica Jade McGeoch that fell flat, hope this doesn't offend

Vibrators are expensive and she already paid taxes for these public fountains. [via Imgur]

4.3k reactions 1277 comments
Scott Thompson After a bottle of Tequila and 1 regrettable night with Tosh, Suzie just couldn't wash out the shame!
Michael Oellig It cleans it also, like a bidet (I had to google how to spell it, so for us small minded people, it's the spraying toilet)
Shane Lamay All the wonderful experiences i am missing out on😔 because i dont have a vagina. But i will take a brain over a vagina anyday.
Matt Folsom *pubic fountain #missedOpportunity
Louci Wylie Deri, I think I'm just gonna start tagging you and Nicole for every one of his ridiculous pictures.m

Take "one, two, one, two" and call me in the morning. [via Uberhumor]

1.4k reactions 113 comments
Chris Myers Testes 1,2,-3 ?
Chris Dominguez Daniel Gfesser recommends gin and juice to every patient
Rick Chacon Jr. Testes One, Two, Three (?)
David Schnatz RD Reynolds he finally found a new market and new career
Jason Priddy I hope he doesn't get feedback during a prostate exam 😞

He's either on his way to a great night, or leaving a terrible one. [via Imgur]

2.9k reactions 303 comments
Bradley Harrison Coyne lol he likes like "The Situation" off Jersey Shore. Sydney Coyne
Dexter Zimmerman thought that was the guy from jersey shore
Luana Parsons Huby caught him..threw him out and made him take his flowers with him
Michael Patrick Figueroa Napo, once I saw Eric do this. Had to hide the keys.
Robert Pesto Casual Friday dress code.... the flowers are for his boss in show of appreciation!!!

There's nothing a little boob can't fix.

10.3k reactions 5799 comments
Chad Everett Looks like they went rabid, shoot them all. Because arresting them for public indecency is getting too taxing for this bull shit.
Brittney Sutphin So, I've been arguing about this for the past 3 days now and keep hearing "it's to make a statement. This is how women are going to have equal rights. People pay attention. It's because women who breast feed are objectified and boobs are just boobs. ...
Luz Lopez Hey guys, I get it, these women look fucked up crazy, but things are pretty bad over here in Argentina, Yes, I know, is not the decent way to make a protest, but this was one of a very big one, were women did march with clothes on, also there wer some ...
Briana Baker So instead of looking like a complete moron, why don't you link the actual story behind this movement. And boys, I wish I knew all y'alls moms so I could tag them on your comments.
Natalie Jeanne I'm guessing they're using shock value to draw attention to their cause, which's genocide. I love that more people on this thread are offended by vagina & boob than actual genocide. Let that sink in...

Anyone with any sense knows that hurricanes can only be defeated by ninja throwing stars and flame throwers. [via Izismile Network]

3.4k reactions 342 comments
Daris Hechevarria The NRA said they have a constitutional right to shoot at any Natural Disaster
Kathleen Llama Jones That's what we need, bullets being hurled around by a hurricane. Who shot Mr. Burns? Irma Simpson.
Brandon Primm No, you defeat hurricanes by throwing sponges and towels into them.
Jennifer Perez See, I wouldve gone with a bunch of fans pointed up towards the hurricane, duuuuh
Brandon Albaugh That's exactly something a hurricane that is afraid of bullets would say

The new 2018 is fully-equipped with two-wheel drive, some mirrors, and a roll of duct tape. [via Izismile Network]

476 reactions 76 comments
Jason Parker If he hits something that cellphone will be implanted on his forehead.
Dan Dieckmann I want to see his FACE after the air bag deploys. "iPhone 8! Now with the ability to lodge itself in your skull!"
Diana Ivette Allen So irresponsible, driving and possibly texting👎😖
Mark Burns Maybe it will take your picture as the airbag is deploying the phone into your face at 200 mph!
Steven Orbeck That's the worst place to put a gps

See? Marching band can be just as cool as actually playing in the football games! [via Imgur]

1.3k reactions 310 comments
Andrew Gort Could be worse...could be playing the rusty trombone!
Brandon Traynor Everybody thinks it is awesome except the guy just in front of them in formation.
Steve Schilling Yeah, if you don't get the hiccups.
Gary DiBarba Laurie Larangeira-McGann - spice up your band camp stories a bit. And thought you can use a giggle today
Brennan O'Dea Rule of thumb... dont eat jalapeno ghost peppers before band practice.

One more week. We know, we're such a tease. NEW episodes of TOSH start September 19th on Comedy Central

306 reactions 21 comments
Shannon Sponsler Krizanac Matt Krizanac
Andrew Karabatsos Jessica Marx
Tom Wade Carolina Ama Warren-Collison Wade
Christina Rivera Michelle Fabiani Rabun
Cyndi Mendez Justo Mendez

CAPTION CHALLENGE: From the rough Write a caption for this still - and help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll pick a winner and share your glory on Facebook.

270 reactions 878 comments
Mark Swart "Caitlyn Jenner's gender reasignment surgery...✔" "Now who wants to drive some balls down the green?"
Justin Burrington Oh! Man, unlucky break. He really chunked Chip there. Not going to be an easy up and down from there.
Willie Krueger Looks like Tosh will be playing his 3 wood from the bush. Let's see how this plays out for him Feherty.
Rowdy Dunn Daniel we're good your ball is not lost. Can I get back to caddying now? You better tip me after this!
Richard Jackson Field sex change operation is a success. Quick give her a tampon for the bleeding and lets get to the back 9.

Everything is fine - the man under this contraption has a hard hat on. [via acidcow]

7.4k reactions 1600 comments
Nick C Skii Reeves Ken Love Zach Caynor Matt Watson .....guess they didn't go over this part in the safety meeting
Rob Lutz Officer Barbrady: "Nope, move along, there's nothing to see here".
Jay Warrick Frank Figured II Mike Burleson Nephew Loucks HEP Sales life, gents (minus the hard hats, they couldn't afford that needless garbage)
Mike Woody Looks like Stephan R. Grigg on the second forklift,no wait a minute is that you Ricky Allen?Ricky Allen
Corinne Converse I keep reading this wrong with the words "contraception" and "hard on" in there. I'm going to bed.

Someone is definitely holding that guy’s beer. [via Imgur]

2.7k reactions 215 comments
Scott Kidney Clearly doing the "eenie meenie minie moe" thing all wrong
Ronnie G. Hallemeier When you know your buddy had way to much to drink...
Dave Cochrane I actually hope it turns round and takes his head off his shoulders...
Jay Max Paradis Eeny Meeny Miney Moe, catch a tiger by the toe...
Kamron Michael Haynes My mother told me to pick the very best one and you are not it ..😂

The McRib just got some major competition for my favorite McDonald’s menu item. [via Izismile Network]

4.8k reactions 767 comments
Mike Coleman Nope, I'm allergic to penicillin.
Connor Clifton Lauren Ferris its stittsville's mcdonalds! Haha
Chris Abbott Lol there is a kosher McDonald's in Israel.
Travis Root The got a McRib and Spicy An Us. I'm just waiting for the Grilled Penis sandwich.
Al Leigh Only a Canadian Mcdonalds.
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